I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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