So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
