Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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