What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
