I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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