bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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