Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
