we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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