I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
