i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
