When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
