If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
