If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
