Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
