I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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