she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Actions speak louder than pants.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
