Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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