I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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