I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
it's like iHOP with fire
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Randomize
