yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
