OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
