im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
