gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
