from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
