I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
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