I molested 6 butterflies tonight
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
