Pappa wants mamma naked
I just pynch a tree in the face
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
