I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
