dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
