Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
