She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
