Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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