But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
