I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
