I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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