Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
she pinky promised me she was 18
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
