Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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