Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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