He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
