At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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