Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize