i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
