I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
what is it with giant penises always finding me
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
