Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
