I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
