can we get nightvision for the apartment?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
That accounts for only three of the penises
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
