break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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