I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
