): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Bring me that man meat
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
