i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
