who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
