It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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